wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
