and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
