I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
