I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
