Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
