i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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