That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
