and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
