Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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