he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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