D3 body, D1 cock
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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