I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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