Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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