he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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