Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
