Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
