we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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