The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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