Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
