Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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