one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
this will be a night to untag.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
