Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
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