It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
