My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
