Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
