Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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