We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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