I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
