saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
