Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
