i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
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