I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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