Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
