4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
