I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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