shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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