And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
