chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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