Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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