Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
