i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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