We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
