I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
