a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
