like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
