Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
