Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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