I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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