I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
