For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
