Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
